The addiction to the water........

More on why we do it!
It begins with a sunny evening. The sun makes a million fleeting diamonds on the sea and the boats come out to play. They seem to move around the lochs or estuaries, or the little lakes in a colourful procession, like white veiled druids on the beat and a riotous hindi festival on the spinnaker legs.
Perhaps we sailed a bit as a kid in dinghies, or with our family on a cruiser boat. But we look upon these wednesday ceremonies with growing interest and a pang of jealousy whenever the sun shines and the water is dappled by the wind!


Maybe we take a course or maybe we just have an acquaintance...yet still may we visit a club and peer over the notice boards. "new memebers welcome" as the banner. When the club is open we wander in, heart in mouth. There will be an odd smell- neoprene rubber, silted salt water, soap and adrenaline. People will dart about and either look at you a bit oddly in your non yachtie gear or just look straight through you. The atmosphere is busy if not hectic and There is an immediate feeling of the good deal of cliqueness if not out right snobbery at the club.


Your first boat will be the first offer usually. Quite possible being thrown into the cauldron of a race, arriving to the line with 10 secs to go, nothing set up and the seeming chaos at the end of the world all around you. Mystified some caring crew member takes you under their wing a bit, but most people just avoid you and even shove you around from rail to rail.

You vaguely get the idea of what is up wind and what is down, that the boat heels upwind and sometimes with the spinnaker it heels too much !You realise also that the owner/driver don't always have the boat or situations under anywhere near control. Maybe you end up standing alone in the bar, with a cacophany of apres sail chat defening you. The owner will maybe even cold shoulder you while they bend the ear of the worthies. All in the peccing order, the worthies don't really want to speak to them either.

...and you don't get asked back. The boat is full. Maybe you should do a course, certainly join the club for "insurance reasons". ( at the high end 'royal patronised' club you may be in for a couple of grand very badly spent in your first year, or rahter year minus one!)


Now perchance you make a totolly honset sign and place it on the notice board board "numpty, but I'mm keen, please please let me sail with you!" Or your membership spalshing of cash raises some action on a comittee member who gives a damn about new memebers ( most don't - new memeber, new admin, new threat to them in later years, new guy they recommended who was no good as crew!)

Anyway you pick yourself up and take up a new notice or get a call, and get someone who is prepared to teach you a little. They do this. you actually go training outside race times. They will be an enthusiast most likely.. an older slightly eccentric type who never actually attracts permanent crew to their two man bosun, snipe, wayfarer or flying 15.

...and you soon learn why ...in the race situation small horns erupt from the receded hariline and the scalp takes on a ruddy tone. The once daintily held tiller extension becomes like a scabre in a blind fencing contest..the boat pitches about...commands are shouted at you, at competitors..at himself...You last about three races and a couple of practice sails before wondering why the hell you ever wanted to go on a boat int he first place.


By this time your face is known and if you have bought some sailing gear, you get a grudgind nod now and again or someone asks you one of those trying-to-be-nice-well-we-shoudl-welcome-newbees questions. What you should do is find someone who is in development and aska bout adult new beginners courses in dinghies, but that extra week of holiday or 120 quid eludes your motivation. You read a book in the clubs library and decide to buy one...the first step int he right direction!
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maybe it is september by now...you have been on a competant crew course or a cruise as crew or maybe a very relaxed racer-cruise distance race and you "know the ropes" enough to be no longer a hindrance. You're a bit rough and ready, but can mix in. Now at this point the whole thing of ego starts.
Having had your ego seriously bruised by the usual unfriendly reception from 99% of folk at the club, your back is up a bit. Now you realise that those you saw going back and forth talking loudly were mostly bloody loosers and spotted your enthusiasm and also realised here comes another young gun to one day bruise their little ego! The serious crowd have packed up and gone home already or were out practicing early when you arrived.
Now comes your big break. Maybe a hop and a skip, first one small boat with a new found pal ( a kiniving boat pimp in reality, currying favour of owners like birk and hare with bodies for the rail) and then he asks you along to a 37 ft plus IRC racer. it doesn't matter if it's a Farr 40 or a moody 38, all you are going to provide is movable ballast. mMaybe your precise wieght, enthusiasm and outright "shows up on time", wins you a place and maybe you do the whole autumn series. Mayeb you even get a crew jacket name emblazoned on the back or subtly sewn on the breast.
Now you do your first big mistake. You've had soft drugs and played with the pills, but you are about to sign up for a shot of the hard stuff in your veins. Yes of course, a spring or summer regatta for Year+1 and trainign towards this. The mix of reggatta adrenaline, camradery, colour and of course alchol makes you feel, emotionally, you are on some fantastic learning curve. If it's a good boat your fledgling regatta ego gets catapulted into the big time. the team nurture you because well, they set a price on reliability and loyalty, sopmeone not threatenign their job, and after all you have the jacket to pad out the uniforms in loud corner of the marquee a little more!
But your ego has about one half seasons ahead before it takes a nose-dive. You are just mobile ballast. Some life forms thrive in this and work off a hang over on the rail while otherwise just enjoying the scenery and the yachting atmosphere. they do it for years until one fine day they turn up still pissed and get caught in the life lines. But your ego is of course at a little odds once it dawns on you that no one really gives a shit about developing your learning curve. You feel excluded from more and more conversations and distant from any decision on the boat. Your comments on the Sb3 overtaking are taken with some derision. SOon you are back where you were on your first sail, wonder what the hell is going on and what you need to learn to get up there!
Now comes the difficult bit. You have the jacket, you have the wins but you are like tart at the garden party...most people condescend to talk to you and backs are often turned. You feel 'obliged' to stay with the boat but frustrated with your lack of any mentoring. You notice you get invited once or twice to help at mast or tailing in the pit, but soon you are back to the odd cunningham tweak from the rail. Now you knwo y0ou have to get the hell out of your comfort zone ...you never really realise the truth...they need you more than you need them at this point. You are a known, reliable, dull quantity. A sand bag which materialises on the pontoon and then on the right rail at the right time each tack. It's time to sacrifice that jacket!
Around mid way through that first regatta I mentioned, you realise that there is a whole other paper chase which happens. Cheque book racing - you are in handicap! How you seemed to move around with the other boats on the water seems to bare little resemblemce to the result and a well fought line honour can mean a sixth place. Teh you hear about one design.
OOD instantly appeals to you. For a start on these (smaller) boats everyone seems to have a JOB! And you knwo where you stand without refering to a software engineer to calculat running results. It looks pretty with identical boats placed out on the course and the racing is obviously close at starts, mark roundings and the anti climaxical finish.
But attracted by the wood you don't see the trees....Stupidly you committ to a dog for the whole season, when you should have tarted about. They make it clear that they want dpenedability and a season committment ( more on this later).
This OD dog is either an old timer, never wins unless no one else turns up, or a young gun with a bit of money (or credit !) But they offer you a job and promise to teach you. You learn the rougher points of grinding and spinnaker luff curl which is all well and good. You learn to go to leeward in the light and to shout 'more wind coming'. At the sosial you rold boat ask you what the hell you are doing, and the owner blank faces you. Also the OD fleet largely exclude you because you had the audacity to sail with a dog boat.
We all know these guys, at least two of the crew are in hill walking gear and trainers and everyone has life jackets snagging on the lines in force 3. usually their money- read credit limit- mysterioulsy grows after a year or two and, frustrate in OOD they go into a 36.7. What follows them though are sail makers with their teachings ( god is on board, more on them later) and also the reserve list from other 36,7s or good crew from boats with bad handicaps. It ain't long before dear john letters start landing in their old faithful's in tray. The point is they were damn keen, shite in OD and bought their way out of it. If they went back they would still be shite, but would pick somethign like a non-national year at Cork Week and go bag a trophy from even worse "cruiser-sosial racers"
The better boats elude you. They don't want to know you, they have all sailed together for years and would rather put a spanner in the works to stop the boat sailing that let someone new take their job. If you do get a ride, the boats are quiet- everyone knows what they are doing (except you).
But now you know how the outhaul has to be cleated at the boom, the funny spinnaker track works, or any other percieved foible of the boat and you get a season 3 invite to the 'career making' boat. At last!!!
======================to recap then and do the math': you have bought over 2 grands worth of kit, thrown 20% of it away as it was cheap crap in the firts place and now look like a yuppie skier in brand new descente year model. You have sacrificed friends, family and Cardio vasulcalr fitness to join a fairly unhealty occupation as a part time sailor / heavy drinker. In fact you have actually spent an astronomical amount on beer and harder stuff and dinners and membership, travel to events and if you have really "been had" by an owner- a share of regatta entry fees and god help me, the upkeep for the boat.
You spent three years, maybe thirty weekends, forty wednesday nights and all the ego-stress in a learning curve which in fact, you could have done in six weeks!!! Now you have arrived at the boat and job which will propell you into a proper learnign curve and give you that relaxed self confidence to discuss the race with ever more new pals who give you not just the time of day, but want to hear what you have to say on the racing!
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what shoudl you have done then?
You should have booked a series of weekends or two weeks in your first summer doing a couple of courses- namely dinghy level II and competant crew. When you look bakc this may seem a bit anal... but then you start to meet a the odd adult who has sailed less than you but is actually more competent --- well what I mean to say if they are new, is that they are in a more competent position to grow their competitive sailing that you are because they have not learnt bad habits and most of all they have no big sailing ego!!!! ( which, like a wart, has grown on you seemingly benignly but makes you choke at having to eat any humble pie)

The really wise money may have bought their own little dinghy or a littel cruiser. Or atleast crew in something easy like a snipe in a decent quality OD fleet.
Not only do you have the ever present 'youth squad' groupies trampling over you at any chance to get your job or even place on the boat, but you have these clever little planned out sods biting at your heels.
Joining a club is most often the worst adivce you can get. Clubs are shower rooms and dinghy parks for the whizz kids and baby sitting saturdays for the parents. They are a building with no soul, no interest in you. Many boast new adult beginners courses, but these are usually late july and early august and basically you miss the season racing.
spending money on courses is the best advice you can get. Firstly you learn safety which is always going to come into hand and win you respect ona boat in a tight situation at some point down the line. Also you will not only learn the basics, but in fact learn a fair bit more about how to prepare and handle a boat in different wind conditions.
Doing both a dinghy course to learn the essence of sailign and competant crew to learn the workings of heavier lumps, is brilliant. You should try to do this at the beiginning of a season or at least tart like hell to get a place on a race boat if you complete in july-august. " RYA competant crew" is a label which will get you onto much better boats- also in the first place you will notice you get choice of boat, and when you are on board you can spot torrom whom you can learn and TO WHOM you can contribute.
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the pimps' perspective.
The boat manager (or lacking that, the owner themselves) has to be constantly on gaurd to retain their core crew and fill any gaps. For a wednseday night or a non series distance race they will risk taking on someone who has say competant crew or a year on a race boat. They want reliability and committment in a new "employee" without offering any such substance in return!
the main objectives are
1) get the core cockpit, foredeck/mast and cabin top people in place and their tailer/helpers trained up on the boat. (main man will either be the crew boss or be hand pciked by the owner)
2) get the right weight and total body-count on the rail at all times!
3) keep the ego's of the core three ( bow, trimmer, cabin) happy
4) improve performance by training and coaching
5) failing 4- getting better crew. Or instead of 4.
6) relating to 5, getting a hot-shot to either do boat speed or tactics from the rail.
erm, as new L plated crew you may notice you are at odds with the whole scheme of things above. When I say 'improve performance' this means ironing out small issues and getting boat familiarity from the core team, not teaching you dear L plate to sail or even do anything better than move rail to rail asap or hold the boom out with your hung over life form.
usually there is that hard eye-ball, expectant stare accompanying the request for regularity and committment for the season. Watch for the bead of sweat or the thereafter lack of any interest in you. What they demand of you they will not offer in return. They will try you and bin you in the blink of an ete, but they will try to get you signed up to 15 weekends with the hard sell.
With the advent of e-mail you will soon find that it is one way traffic once you have been nice and signed up to all you can do for the season. the wise money never signs up before a decent test sail round the cans, However, you "need" to committ to regattas. If it is all still an unknown quantity, pick the shorter regattas ( the wekeends and former 'weeks' which are now three or four days) earlier in the season to assess the boat for your own learnign/ ambitiojn / sosial needs. This will win favour and get you a place as a good fill in anyway.
It's pretty likely that if you land a job as main trimmer or kite/jib trimmer that you will get bagged for the big regattas. Pricks will start to materialise on the boat a couple of races before the event and bang, you are on the rail with only a terse explanantion. Owners/bosses knwo they are pushing your loyalty and pimping in better up-state whoares but they don't care.
Like army officers, owners and crew bosses make decisions and don't go back on them. Challenges are just ignored. As occiasional (2nd rate, needs supervision) trimmer and otherwise a body on the side you are completely dispensable.
best practice for you? as said, sign up for 90% of early season and firts regatta and leave the rest to " have to see how it works out with holidays from the boss".
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Hope you understand now that there is an inherent insoluble dilemma. If you want a good job which expands your learning curve, you will have to sail on a shite boat which limits your ambitions. If you want to sail on a good boat which wins, you will get a shite job which limits your learning curve.
"experience is that quality you require the precise moment AFTER you most needed it" .
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even if you have say even up to 5 seasons of experience, but you still know you want to learn more, get your arse on a dinghy and comp' crew course. Avoid that sinking feeling in Y2, sitting on the rail doing nothing, by bringing sharp skills to the boat.
There is another ulterior motive ....meeting people.
you will meet a mixed bag, but a good proportion will be very keen on sailing and humble enough to set a pragmatic learning curve. You'll have a good social and maybe get a direct invite to a race boat or help up grade a participant from cruising to racing.
but most importantly, these competent contacts are the very ones who may be forming your core crew or required ballast wet the job as crew boss or invest in a boat!!!!!!!!!!

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Personally I have had my overly huge share of lady luck. But I stuck out my apprenticehip - a year too long as it happened - and I did dinghy courses to boost my experience, confidence and enthusiasm
I didn't follow the above route, which is probably a far more common and unforntuate route for the "adult beginner" poor sod!
I did my apprenticeship, after some "work experience" on a FC Europe, in the good ol' sigma 33 fleet on one boat. Everything from passage racing and watch skipper on long deliveries to racing in very tight fleets with the best ie scottish, in the UK at the time. I learnt light airs ghosting and sailing in 35 knts. I did every job in races bar steering. And I did it all with flying colours. As crew I did more than actually I could have been expected in the three key seasons 95-98, but I couldn't give them that little extra bump into the top league which Neil macgregor had. I just didn't have the sail setting know how or the start line expereinec. I felt a frustration with this at the time, btu the only cure would have been dinghy sailing. I did just great with cork week 96 being one of the big highlights of my career still to this day!!!!!
then I got my luck with the big boys, well the nearly big boys. Convert' Machine and WIngs of the wind and I "lived long" of them.
I could then pick my owners but I couldn't break into the right scene in edinburgh. Still I managed a 707 there, but had to choose oban to get a willing fool to let me show my true colours. My learning curve just got steeper rather than flattenign out post 1999....also I learnt to get off the boat...rajah and fly, and dick head skinny euan morrison.
Now armed with all this what have I ? Owner/ boat choice dilemas. Spoilt for choice of boats but with nothing that quite fits.
My gap is the start line and steering in waves. Everything else can be put in practice but Snipe Dinghy here I come